Last night’s AI was, in my humble opinion, the best episode of the season. And not just because I was an awkward child who listened to Broadway soundtracks. No, to me, last night, we as a nation were able to discover who this season’s true singers are. The theme of AI was based around the music of Broadway legend Andrew Lloyd Webber, who is as delightfully catty in both face and spirit as ever. His “master classes” with the contestants were many times the highlight of the episode.
Last night, some contestant revelations: Hate David Cook as you may, but just because he wears a handcuff necklace doesn’t mean he can’t hit a high note like an ol’ son of a bitch. Then you have Brooke, someone who has sucked all season, going above and beyond the expected suckiness level by making Madonna sound like a good singer. But then there’s Syesha! Oh lord, let’s just go down the list:
1. Syesha Mercado: First of all, Syesha was already my favorite last night solely for choosing a song from Starlight Express, a musical about a train on rollerskates. I always thought Syesha got an unfair bad wrap, so how redeemed was I feeling when she absolutely killed her song, “One Rock N’ Roll Too Many.” Much like my favorite AI contestant ever, Latoya London, she’s probably not going to win American Idol. But she’s almost guaranteed to have some sort of Broadway career. (A clip of her performance is after the jump.)
2. Jason Castro. Jason has a beautiful face like a mythical Jamaican merman. He is not, however, a good singer. Jason went with the classic jam “Memory”, from Cats. Andrew Lloyd seemed quite started by Jason’s dreads, while Jason was too high to even know what the song was about: “I didn’t know a cat was singin’ it.” Castro will most likely glide by on his Travolta-face and GoSmile alone, but in the end (wait for it), not that memorable. (Light tapping out of the room.)
3. Brooke White. Oh here we go, guys. Brooke, whose vacant stare makes me wonder if she’s under the impression that life is a permanent glaucoma test, picked the song “You Must Love Me”, sang by Madonna in the movie Evita. Brooke did something rarely seen in AI… the stop and start! Only seconds into her song, she flubbed the words. And in typical Brooke fashion, whipped up a slice of humble pie on her dinner plate eyes, and asked the orchestra to start again. Despite her protestations that we “must love her”, it seems fairly obvious that Brooke will be flying off of tonight’s episode. Let’s hope they have ambulances on stand-by, cause she’s gonna frayyyk. (A clip of her performance is after the jump.)
The rest of the performances (with some video) after the cut.
4. David Archuleta. At first, I didn’t mind this 17-year-old soft spoken mini-man. Sure, he has a weird crooked mouth, and a slight speech impediment thing happening that makes it hard to watch him sing. Today, I hum a difference tune, the tune known as “Whatever We Once Had is Dead.” Dead! Turning Phantom of the Opera‘s “Think of Me” into some sort of Jon Secada nightmare is completely inexcusable. And what is with that constant hand-waving? Little girl, can’t you see? He’s not that great! Of course, the judges are drinking the Kool Aid on this one, as small, non-threatening boy = Billboard gold.
5. Carly Smithson. Andrew Lloyd Webber steered Carly right, encouraging her to sing the theme song from Jesus Christ Superstar. First of all, the set completely came alive for this one, as did Carly. Not too much to say: Carly’s always been great, she killed it last night. She won’t be the Idol, but she’ll get damn close.
6. David Cook. Here we go. David Cook has never really been on my radar — his version of Mariah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby” was good, but there was something so phony about him. He’s like the Scott Stapp of Season 7. Or Idol’s answer to Criss Angel. He wears a handcuff necklace, for God’s sake! How could I like someone like that? Then, yesterday, Cook chose to sing “Music of the Night” from Phantom. And not a “rock n’ rollified” version, but just an honest, simple rendition. When he first started singing, I audibly BOO’d him and his transmanish beard in my bedroom… but a few seconds into it, I softened. What’s this? He has a beautiful voice… and oh, that high note! Oh, David Cook, last night things changed between us. If only they weren’t sequestering you so that you may read this post! It was indeed, as Andrew Lloyd Webber put it, “quite sen-syooal.” Here it is, if you missed it:
SYESHA!
and brooke.
