Last night, the The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) held their 25th Annual Pop Music Awards at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, California. And if there’s one thing easily noticed about the evening’s attendees… it’s that they’ve got the craziest haircuts! So, now the question comes to you: Who of the following people who we’ve never really heard of, out-crazy-haired the others? Here are your choices:
A. Verdine White.
Never, during my many times of “jammin’ out” to Earth, Wind & Fire, did I realize that their bassist had such silky and luxurious locks. Nor did I realize he was a figure made out of wax. (cue chimes) The More You Know!
B. Desmond Child.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my distinct pleasure to be able to feature the man, the legend, behind the only song possibly more annoying than the IO Digital Cable Jam, known as “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” He also wrote songs with Meatloaf, most likely with some in his mouth and possibly also the man. I will say this: Any man who was a part of the following band “Desmond Child & Rouge” is still quite fabulous, even if he kind of looks like Penn Jillette with an outrageous skinny beard.
The Insane Awards Show Hair Continues After the Jump… and let us know where your vote stands in the comments.
C. The All-American Rejects.
Many people ask “What’s In a Name?” In the case of the All-American Rejects, it’s “Hair & Facial Expressions.” The irony is that while their hair looks like it would smell like cheddar cheese, it most likely smells like the inside of Crabtree and Evelyn’s a-hole, i.e. flowery and delicious.
D. Danny “Styles” Schofield.
If Princess Leia were black, and also bald, she would be Danny “Styles” Schofield (catchphrase: “The ‘Styles’ Stands for ‘Styles-ish’”) Danny heads up a Miami-based hip-hop group known as Purple Popcorn, which is surprisingly adorable sounding for a man with a billiard ball in the front, and a dreaded party in the back. And his beard is like the Mobius Strip of facial hair, which now makes this officially the first time 8th grade algebra has been used in my adult life.
E. Da Brat.
Just when you thought Verdine White had it in “Da Bag”, Da Brat shows up with a hairstyle that’s part Christian Soriano, part Rosie O’Donnell meltdown, part Fred Flintstone, and screws it up for everyone. Her face is just screaming “Yeah, what of it?” Long hair also short, Da Brat still scares the sh*t out of me.
