Our old friend John Mayer took a few minutes from his busy day of lyric-scribbling, paparazzi-heckling and just being the awesomest celebrity in the world to post a somewhat mysterious message on his blog that is written in the form of a letter to an unnamed paramour to whom he says, in so many words, “Stop calling me, psycho”. Here’s his dismissive missive:
Dear Ex Lover,Perhaps you didn’t understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I’ll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I’m done trying. I hope this is enough closure for you.
Goodbye
P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.
Ouch. Predictably, the bloggernets have gone all a-tizzy trying to figure out who he just took this very public dump on. Some say Jessica Simpson. Others are speculating it was Friday Night Lights‘ Minka Kelly. In honestly could have been any of the eleventy-bajillion beautiful women Mayer’s bedded, but my money’s on our own Michelle Collins, whose wanton, possibly dangerous lust for the singer was clearly evident to me long ago. Sorry, Collins – it was just a cruise, these things happen (though he does seem to be keeping the door slightly open with that “p.s.” bit at that end). There may yet be hope…
UPDATE: John clarified. It’s not about J. Simpson, Minka Kelly or MimiCoco – it’s about his own need to express himself as an artist despite the communicative limitations placed on him by our perception of his celebrity. So you can stop with the silly poll, UsWeekly.
