- Hillary Clinton took three out of four Democratic primaries last night, while John McCain swept to clinch the Republican nomination. Meanwhile, I still haven’t decided if I’m gonna slash the prices on my warehouse full of Chuck Huck Facts coffee table books.
- Former stripper / sexy bartender David Hernandez was told by Simon Cowell that he has a “100% chance” of reaching the finals on “Idol” last night. I think we can all thank Taylor Hicks for paving the way for topless bartenders.
- Boy Band mogul Lou Pearlman pled guilty to charges of scamming investors out of more than $300 million. Expect those Filipino prisoner Youtube videos to soon get a whole lot more annoying.
- Emma Thompson’s adopted Rwandan son remarked yesterday about Britain’s “pathetic celebrity culture.” The Daily Mail asks in a poll, will women want to f*ck Emma Thompson’s son more or less following the public outburst?
- 50 Cent will be joining boxer Floyd Mayweather in the ring at this year’s Wrestlemania. They’re now just one Allman Brother and two Destroyers short of a Super Bowl Halftime Show.
