Since you guys seemed to like it last time, I will continue to provide my off-the-cuff, relatively unqualified, totally indifferent red carpet fashion recaps from time to time. I am the Fashion Security Guard. So let’s get started then, shall we:
This is that chick Raven-Symone, from the kids show where they use her name, “Raven”, as an adjective, describing various things as being “so Raven”. Is this dress Raven? I have no idea. I mean, she’s wearing it, so I would say that his to make it at least a little bit Raven. But it’s very purple, which I suspect, as colors go, is somewhat Raven. She looks very sassy.
See the rest, after the jump!
Here’s Jessica Alba at the premiere of her new movie The Eye (I think its one of those scary ones where weird Asian girls suddenly appear at the end of a hallway and glare at your through their bangs). I would say her dress is white with jewels around the top of her boobs. While it seems very elegant and classy, I think it makes her look kind of big around the mid-section. But still, she looks very nice.
This is Carmen Electra. Judging by the determined manner in which she’s standing, I guess I’m supposed to think she’s hot or sexy or whatever. She’s okay. I think her dress is a color like aqua or teal, and has sparkly silver lines going down it that sort of look like layers under the Earth’s crust, except all of them are that aqua-ish color. I bet at Carmen’s core, there is only molten Electra. And boobs.
Lindsay Lohan is looking pretty fierce, sober, and sassy these days. She appears to be wearing some kind of executive blazer over a mini-skirt made entirely out of street signs, sort of like a Kindergarten teacher who suddenly decided she wanted to be a Powerful Businesswoman. I guess it would be funnier if there was a big “STOP” sign over where her vagina is, but maybe that’s not her style. Even when she’s wearing stuff I don’t really understand, I have to admit she’s pretty attractive.
Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson. Duh. I don’t really have a whole lot to say about their dresses, other than they seem fine, and were probably made by a competent individual who is good with satin and those kind of fabrics, but since they’re at the red carpet for the premiere of that new movie they’re in together, I would like to say that the way they kept talking about whether or not they would make out with each other during all those promotional interviews was kind of a sneaky, underhanded way to trick heterosexual males such as myself into going to see a movie we would otherwise never watch. That’s not very cool. Still, in terms of being extraordinarily attractive to look at, they’re both flawless here.
