- F***IN’ HEALTH SCARE: A 200-pound Eminem was reportedly taken to the hospital over the holidays for a heart condition and serious pneumonia. Must…resist…Slim Shady joke……. (TMZ)
- BETTER LATE THAN NEVER: Steven Spielberg will have to wait until the 2009 Golden Globes to receive the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award. Not because this year’s Awards Ceremony was cancelled, just because they felt Spielberg needed one more year to really prove himself. (Entertainment Weekly)
- JOB OPENING: Bill Gates anticipates his last day at Microsoft in a star-studded flash-forward starring Bono, Matthew McConaughey, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton. Carrie Fisher in her gold slave bikini is surprisingly absent. (Stereogum)
- SIGH OF RELIEF: Goose Gossage was the only player elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame this year, while Mark McGwire fell short again, earning only 23 percent of the vote. I guess the baseball writers really do believe that Gossage grew that ‘stache without the use of steroids. (Deadspin)
- CHRISTIAN CHARITY: We can all do our part and pitch in to save Britney. How? By giving money to Perez Hilton. You follow that logic, right? Because I do. (Perez)
