Wednesday night, Republican Congressman and character actor Fred Thompson announced that he would be running for President in 2008. If you don’t initially recognize Thompson as D.A. Branch from Law & Order, perhaps you remember him from the 1992 TV movie Bed of Lies, or maybe as Big John in Days of Thunder, or the classic character Bernard Oxbar from the thieving scamp flick Curly Sue. Not since the golden era of Ronald Reagan teaching human morals to a monkey in Bedtime for Bonzo has Hollywood and Washington collided in such a magical way.

Which got us to thinking: Being President of the United States is a lot like being an actor. Reading aloud things you probably didn’t even write, things you might not even believe, with the sincerity and brevity that a nation comes to expect from the Leader of the Free World. And every four years, we, the sheep, gather together to vote on who the next great actor of our country will be.

But why stop at Fred Thompson? We’re pretty sure there are a ton of other very talented, stern, podium-slamming character actors out there who would be perfectly suited to play what really boils down to the role of a lifetime. Hence, we’ve compiled a list of Top 10 Other Character Actors Who Would Also Make Good Presidents.

10. Bob Balaban. Bob Balaban has a lot of things going for him. First of all, he’s alliterate. Secondly, he’s got exactly the sort of quiet, unassuming quality that all of the great maniacal leaders have. His advisors would arrive to work each day with the same thought on their minds: “Is today the day Balaban snaps?” And let’s be honest… he looks like the sort of guy you could trust with your tax money. Because Balaban and Hooker Orgies just don’t mix.

9. Phillip Baker Hall. That wrinkled face. Those furrowed brows. There’s just something about PBH that screams elderly ass-kicking. Well know for playing stodgy governmental officials, such as in Air Force One, or the classic political melodrama The Rock, we think his most convincing Presidential-esque turn was as Bookman, the library detective on Seinfeld, proves that Hall can turn even the most mundane of Presidential tasks into life or death situations. It’s that kind of passion America needs in its President.

8. Bill Pullman. We knew from the moment we heard his butchified Presidential gravel-voice in Independence Day that Pullman could probably pull off the job in real life. Plus, if God forbid any locust-like aliens just happen to land on our planet to use our resources and read our thoughts to their heart’s content, who do you think is gonna be able to help us… Fred Thompson? Unlikely. Billy would pull a Giuliani with one simple sentence: “Let’s nuke the bastards.” And let’s not forget… he ain’t harsh on the eyes. Our virgin alarms are tingling just thinking about him.

7. Tony the Tiger. Most positive Prez evs. “Mr. President, how would you say our ecomony is looking for the next few quarters?” “It’s grrrrreat!” “And what about the country’s education system — with nearly 10 percent of 6th grade students failing their standardized tests, what do you plan on doing to ensure the success of future generations?” “Reading is grrrrreat!” “Mr. President, won’t your stance on Taiwan undermine democracy in East Asia?” “(whispering to his Chief of Staff): Have him remoooooved.”

6. James Earl Jones Darth Vader. Originally, we wanted to add good ol’ King Jaffe Joffer to this list, for the added gravitas that his voice adds to everything and anythisisCNN. Then it occurred to us… why stop at James Earl Jones? Why not have Darth MothuEffing Vader all up in our presidential steezness? That helmet, the costume, that voice… President Darth will have foreign dignitaries eating out of the palm of his hand!

After the jump — the Top 5! Can you guess who our Number 1 is?

5. Michael Clarke Duncan. Want to make sure that North Korea is really dismantling their nuclear program, as they’ve promised? Just send President Duncan over for a quick visit. Sure, half the country might honestly believe we’ve elected Godzilla to be our leader (he’s big, they’re little), but we’re pretty sure Duncan could dismantle their program with one angry swipe of his might paw. In this case, brauns over brains. The fact that he’s also a sweetheart is something only us Americans need to know.

4. Jefferson D’Arcy on Married with Children: He’s handsome and sort of stupid. Which is more than you can say about our current President. Plus, he’s married to a lesbian, much like one of our other favorite Prezzes — not Roosevelt, the other one. If he can bring the same sort enthusiasm he brought to NO MA’AM to this here United States, we should be in good hands.

3. Corbin Bernsen. You know what this country needs, people? A swift kick in their new millenium asses. And what better way to do that then by electing an actor who exudes 1980’s slime, lust and greed from every pore on his shiny bald head. You want our dollar to be stronger? You want a better ecomony? Bucketfuls of cocaine and Shasta? Well no one’s gonna get us there faster than Corbin “L.A. Law Meets Roger Dorn” Bernsen. Plus, he’ll probably deliver the State of the Union wearing a towel-skirt and no shirt.

2. Lupe Ontiveros. Sure, she’s played a maid in nearly everything she’s ever been in (and a damn good one, at that.) But you know what? Much like former Secretary of Health Donna Shalala, Lupe exudes all the qualities of a powerful female president who will put a man in his place and get the job done. Plus, imagine how clean the White House would be!

1. James Rebhorn Oh, Rebhorn… HOW WE PINE FOR THEE. When we think of James Rebhorn, a few words come to mind: Stoic. Fighter. Tall. Podium. Nose. Jazz. He brings a gravitas to everything he touches, so much so that he’s played both the the President (in The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle… but still) and some sort of Pope-like man. So who do you really want as your President, ladies and gentlemen. Some boring old guy from Tennessee who sort of resembles an angry chimp in certain lights… or the lean, mean intelligence that is Rebhorn? The ball is in your court, America.

Bonus actor who would also make a great President: Kevin Kline. If you don’t believe us, rent Dave, and then let’s talk.

And a Great First Lady Shout Out: Edie McClurg. Because we miss her. And she’s awesome.