- OLD FRIEND: We’re not surprised O.J. Simpson’s sudden return to the headlines finally lured Kato Kaelin from Hollywierdo hiding for a little more of that sweet Juice-knowing attention he loves so much. We’re just suprised it took him so long. (National Lampoon)
- TOUGH GIRL: Save your smart-assy “Save The Cheerleader from Milo” remarks, because innocent-looking little Hayden Panettiere will f*cking cut you. (TV Guide)
- SUCCESS STORY: Chris Crocker (better known as “Leave Britney Alone Guy”) has gotten a TV deal following last week’s viral success of his filmed insanity-rant. I suggest stopping whatever you’re doing right now and taking a moment to give it up for America with a big round of applause. We deserve it. (Gawker)
- GOOD THING SOON TO BE RUINED: Drew Barrymore has signed on star in a narrative adaption of the darkly fascinating cult documentary classic Grey Gardens. She’s planning to bring her own take on the material, filling the gardens with cheery flowers and falling in love with the dreamy visitor from the Health Department, quirkily played by current real-life bf Justin Long. (Reuters)
- RACE WAR:
Al SharptonJesse Jackson is criticizing Senator Barack Obama for “acting like he’s white”, instead of acting like the stereotypical “outraged black preacher” caricature the reverend has worked for years to establish in his own amusing-but-futile attempts at the presidency. (The State)
