Brace yourselves for a “Best Couple Alert”: Joe Pesci, the most diminutive on-screen ass kicker of all time, and Angie Everhart, the 5′10″ red-headed model you hopefully don’t remember from Bordello of Blood, are ENGAGED. This is the best thing we’ve ever heard or read in our lives! Joe Pesci has got to be one of the best actors of our generation, and Angie Everhart… has red hair. We were just beginning to worry about where in the world Joe Pesci had gone off to… and it turns out he was just busy having sort of awkward big-little sex with a beautiful giant model!! Thank God for that.

As far as how Pesci proposed, this is the way we imagine it happening…

Joe Pesci’s Proposal

Angie Everhart: You’re a pistol… You’re really adorable. You’re really adorable.
Joe Pesci: What do you mean I’m adorable?
Angie: You’re an adorable guy.
Joe Pesci: What do you mean, you mean the way I look? What?
Angie: It’s just, you know. You’re just adorable, it’s… adorable, the way you tell the story and everything.
Joe Pesci: Adorable how? What’s adorable about it? What did ya say? Adorable how?
Angie: Jus…
Joe Pesci: What?
Angie: Just… ya know… you’re adorable.
Joe Pesci: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little f*cked up maybe, but I’m adorable how? I mean, adorable like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to f*ckin’ amuse you? What do you mean adorable, adorable how? How am I adorable?
Angie: Just… you know…
Joe Pesci: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m adorable. How the f*ck am I adorable, what the f*ck is so adorable about me? Tell me, tell me what’s adorable!
Angie: [long pause] Get the f*ck out of here, Joey!
Joe Pesci: [everyone laughs] Ya motherf*cker! I almost had her, I almost had her. Ya stuttering pr*ck ya. I wonder about you sometimes, Angie. I wonder if… you’ll marry me?

THE END.