It’s pretty much a universal assumption right now that Britney Spears is damaged goods. Divorced, bald, looking like the Gorton’s Fisherman just dragged her out of the sea, left with no career, two kids, and a canal to prove it, it’s sort of amazing that guys — and hot guys, at that — would still make out with her, when forced. But we’ve got to hand it to the girl: Her methods for meeting men is pretty much genius.

In this video obtained by Access Hollywood, L.A. hardbody Matt Salinas describes how he ended up being straddled by a topless Britney in a hotel pool. It began innocently enough — he was at a club, Britney’s reps asked if he’d like to be an “extra” in her music video. He agrees. Not a few minutes later, Britney claims she’s “too tired” to continue filming, but clearly not too tired to invite all the extras out to drinks and skinny dipping. Which might be exactly the sort of ruse she needs to meet men these days. It’s Brill Paxton.

Sure, he’s cute, and young: Every time he says the word “boobs”, you can practically hear him typing “58008″ into a calculator for added effect. So we’re happy for Britney, in the sense that she got to “make out with a boy”, but we’re also a little sad for her, as now all of her sexual secrets are set to be leaked on Access Hollywood. (There is also a Part 2 of the video!) Did someone say counterclockwise swirl?