Which of these analogies best approximates Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton showing up at the same 4th of July party?

1. Going to see Bruce Springsteen in concert, then he wows the crowd by pulling Bob Dylan onstage for a rousing duet on “Jungleland.”

2. Some wacky sitcom where two people who hate each other both won’t be denied going to the same party, and it’s up to hapless main character dude (played by Jonathan Silverman) to make sure they don’t see each other, even though a bunch of crazy circumstances come up that force them towards the same room.

3. The Key Master and the Gate Keeper showing up at the same party, putting us within minutes of being suffocated to death by marshmallow fluff.

4. The invention of a new paradigm, not unlike the first time someone dunked a cookie into a glass of milk (only it’s not milk).

5. A symbolic unity of two of the most dubiously famous individuals in current American popular culture, coincidentally on America’s birthday, further enhanced by the fact that both were recently stuck in rehabilitive institutions and therefore probably don’t belong at parties.

6. Best Week Ever’s wet dream.