After 63 underage people were arrested at a recent John Mayer concert in Hershey, PA for assorted infractions that could only be described as “Lohanesque”, the white chocolate blues guitarist took to his trusty blog to offer some words of wisdom for his wayward young fans (who, in their defense, were only ingesting the necessary amount of pot and booze required to make some white dude d*cking around on his guitar actually sound interesting):
In looking to the future, I hope that this will serve as a wake-up call to young fans who may be thinking about engaging in illegal activity at one of my concerts. If I happen to be walking backstage and I see any of you young men passed out drunk on a stretcher, make no mistake about it, you will come-to in front of your disappointed parents with a face full of Sharpie and the sneaking suspicion that you’ve been teabagged by one of Time Magazine’s 100 most influential people of 2007.
You hear that, youngsters? Stay off the sauce and the reefer, or you could be the unfortunate victim of having testicles drawn on your face, or worse, put into your mouth, by the most influential prankster frat dude in the world.
