One thing this whole Paris Hilton prison debacle pretty much guarantees are the obligatory ironic t-shirts (though I’ve never understood who actually wanders around in a shirt that says “Free Katie” or whatever). Anyway, as I was poring over every genius thought that dribbled from Paris’ mouth last night on Larry King, I starting thinking of some ideas for clever t-shirts on which her statements, taken in a different context, could produce mildly humorous results. Here’s what I came up with:
- A lot of people just pretend that they knew me to get in. (ED NOTE: She was talking about jail, not Hyde.)
- It’s jail food. It’s not supposed to be good.
- I just went with the motto don’t serve the time; let the time serve you.
- I’m just going to follow all the laws.
- My caustraphobia is kicking in.
- I don’t want to cause a whole media circus.
- Being in Los Angeles, there is a lot of people out here that like people for certain reasons.
- There’s just so much more to me than what people think.
- I write scripts.
- I like when I talk in my normal voice.
- I have ADD. So I take medication for that.
- It’s Adderall. Anyone who has ADD takes it.
- I’m not a big drinker.
- It really baffles me sometimes when I read things.
- I’m doing a couple movies this summer.
- I’m a social person. I love to dance.
- I work very hard. I run a business. I had a book on the “New York Times†best seller list. I’m on my TV show. Did an album. Do movies.
- I just like to go out and have fun with my friends. I’m an Aquarius. We’re social people.
- I now appreciate and have gratitude for everything, like, I really have a new appreciation for life.
- I consider myself normal.
- I don’t have any friends in rehab.
- I’ve always had a sense of spirituality, but even more so now, after being in jail.
- I want to be a good role model for these girls.
- I did my time.
