During the final few minutes of last night’s The Sopranos series finale, something really strange happened. At around 10:03, a healthy portion of my neighborhood screamed out a certain obscenity that can’t be printed on this blog without the help of an asterisk or four. By now, you’ve probably heard of the cop-out finale given to us by show creator David Chase, where following a handful of red herrings indicated the family was about to get gunned down, the screen just went to black. Even the inclusion of the best power ballad ever (Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’”) couldn’t save me from feeling nearly as disappointed as Meryl Streep in Sophie’s Choice. And the nerve that HBO execs would expect me to sit through yet another series about surfing after I just invested the better part of my 20’s (i.e. My best years) to a show that would end this way, well that was too much to bear. Perhaps if the family’s last name had been “The Blooballz”, I could have forgiven them. Perhaps. Apparently, I’m not alone, as hordes of people crashed the HBO website in a fit of complainy rage. Frankly, had it not been for Paulie vs. The Little Red Cat, we would have felt wholly cheated.

The big question: What did it all mean? So, as per usual, I turned to my perma-supportive community of internet nerds over at Television Without Pity to get their take on the controversial finale. Below are the highlights of theories and hilarious comments left on the TWOP message board that seriously calmed me down last night. People on the internet can really be brilliant (deafening throat clearing)!

• That made the Seinfeld ending look like the greatest series ending ever. Seriously. My stomach was in KNOTS for ten minutes for THAT??? — Wanda Overthere
• David Chase can eat a bag of d*cks. — abbottrabbit
• I hope the cat gets an emmy next year. He gave the best and most committed performance of the episode. — C-Span
• Chase, get back in this bed and finish f**king me! — Gentian root
• You are all missing the big point of this episode. Even Tony Soprano knows that Journey is better than Tony Bennett. — TheMatt



• Maybe if I watch it again at twelve, and at the end during the black part, if I tap my TV with a stick, it might explode into something this time. — MattyDucks
• Remember the conversations Tony had with Bobby earlier in the season, and Bobby saying “You never hear it coming”. Tony was just killed at the end. The show was Tony. We (and Tony) never heard or saw it coming. The show ended when Tony ended. The End. — captainteebs
• The devil is in the details. Look at the opening shot and notice the bed now has sheets. He died and the rest is his death dream.– moblawyah
• Bob Dylan. THAT song, in particular. And THAT song is “It’s Alright, Ma [as in Livia] I’m only Bleeding.” — Navin
• In my mind Tony is dead. The assassin game out of the bathroom, Tony hears a clank from the doorknob or maybe from a gun being cocked. He wouldn’t hear the shot because the bullet travels faster than the speed of sound. He’s dead instantly. He’s gone. That’s when everything goes black — took me a few seconds to realized that. The screen goes black, the credits roll and for the first time there’s no music. The music stops. — Navin
• All it really needed was a glass dome with snow over the Statue of Liberty – and Tony looking into it – a regular guy who runs a butcher shop. — crystalsage

You can include us in the “Tony is Dead” Camp, as we highly doubt we’ll ever see the realization of a Sopranos movie.

AFTER THE JUMP: One more genius theory about that little cat, plus we remember our favorite HBO finale ever with a Youtube video and box of Kleenex. Hint: It’s the Six Feet Under finale!

• The idea that the cat is a symbol for Schrodinger’s Cat is really fascinating…here’s a bit of info on the theory:
  
  The observer cannot know whether or not an atom of the substance has decayed, and consequently, cannot know whether the vial has been broken, the hydrocyanic acid released, and the cat killed. Since we cannot know, the cat is both dead and alive according to quantum law, in a superposition of states. It is only when we break open the box and learn the condition of the cat that the superposition is lost, and the cat becomes one or the other (dead or alive).

  Either dead or alive…the observer cannot know for sure. Sounds familiar! — SuiGeneris

Finale, after feeling so cheated last night, we decided to revisit the best BEST series finale ever, courtesy of the brilliant Alan Ball. Six Feet Under, RIP.