- LESSON NOT LEARNED: Apparently, the threat of sh*tting in a bucket while a handful of hungry inmates look on is not enough to stop Paris Hilton from driving without a license. We’ve gotta hand it to this bitch — she’s got balls. (Metro UK)
- THE REVIEWS ARE IN: Thanks to Matt Drudge for the “Shrek is Drek” headline, which we can’t really top. In other news, we are disappointed to hear this. (The Hollywood Reporter)
- APOLOGY: Rapper Akon has written an apology note asking forgiveness for man handling and grinding a girl who was only 15-years-old. Word to the wise: Only dry-rape women with walkers from now on to stay safe. (Yahoo News)
- PRIME POSITION: How I plan on watching American Idol tonight. (Stuff On My Mutt)
- HERO: Kirstie Alley, the only Thetan-Free Neighborhood Patrolwoman in LA. (Defamer)
- LIVE ACTION REMAKE: Robert Rodriguez will be directing a live-action version of The Jetsons. Wouldn’t it be amazing if Rosie O’Donnell could play Rosie the Robot Maid? Casting Gods, throw some lightning around and make this happen. (Ain’t It Cool)
