- A Palestinian TV show has created a Hamas version of Mickey Mouse, which promotes Islamic domination to its young audience. Which is a big misstep on the part of Hamas. No kids care about Mickey anymore. If they really want to capture the hearts of the youth, they should have created a militant SpongeBob SquarePants.
- In Germany, a man showed up to take his driving test with a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit. Yet the instructor still let him get behind the wheel. But, to be clear, he didn’t pass.
- The Milwaukee Brewers offered free rectal exams today at their ballpark, and if you got an exam they gave you two free tickets to go to a Brewers game. Which would kind of be like enduring the exam twice.
- In the weird fetish department: A man has been arrested for breaking into homes and stealing socks. He’s also been spotted playing Peeping Tom–and leaving behind socks. Good thing cops caught him before he had a chance to go all Ocean’s 11 on the Gold Toe factory.
- A mother prepares to give birth to her 17th child. Surprisingly, her last name is neither Baldwin nor Wayans.
