Last night, Paula Abdul made a curious appearance on New York’s Fox 5 affiliate, explaining what exactly went down during her recent nose breakage… specifically Paula. While the official story goes that she tripped in an effort to avoid crushing her chihuahua Tulip, the clip raises more questions than answers. Specifically, why does Paula look like she’s 6 feet tall? Is she on stilts? Has she not learned her lesson? Though our favorite part of the interview would have to be where a sincere Abdul chides her puppy: “She didn’t even realize I was trying to save her.” Strange that your dog, who technically has a brain the size of a small walnut, doesn’t have the decency to recooogniiiize that you saved her little life!! Though props to Abdul for having the good sense not to keel over and crush the poor newscaster assigned to this interview.

American Idol is going to be amazing tonight.