If there’s one toy that America’s kids are going to be clamoring for come Christmas-time this year, it’s undoubtedly going to be Rapist Number One, the hornball zombie sexual predator portrayed by Quentin Tarantino in Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez’s portion of Grindhouse. And luckily for parents, they will have to look no further than their local toy store to enrich their family’s toy collection with the addition of a gun-toting rapist GI Joe. Those boring old Barbie & Ken Doll play scenarios will be so much more exciting when your children can introduce the horrors of flesh-eating zombie rape into their otherwise happy home!

UPDATE: This item is NOT carried by Toys ‘R Us, as was originally reported by our source, Contact Music. We apologize for any confusion.