We hate to report this, but today the 2007 Daytime Emmys were announced, and who do you think they managed to leave off of the list… why, Jeffrey Carlson, of course, better known to you and me as Zarf. NO ZARF! If anyone on the face of the planet deserves an award (and yes, I’m including J-Hud), it’s Jeffrey Carlson. What other actor can sing with such conviction, fake fight like Bruce Willis, and look fantastic in a bra and panties, I ask you? Certainly not a**holes with names like Trent Dawson and Kristoff St. John.
Perhaps we’re giving these so-called “Emmy” awards a little too much credit. After all — They nominated Tyra Banks for a Best Talk Show Host Award. Tyra Banks. Barbara Walters is rolling over in her cryogenically frozen grave right now. Then again we’d much rather see Tyra talking about herself compared to Rachael Ray‘s daily consumption of fetus-blood on her morning show. (Congrats on her two noms.)
Seeing as it’s the beginning of spring, and we’re feeling nostalgic, let’s take a look at the original clip that made us fall in love with Zarf so hard in the first place, the original monologue that put our favorite tranny on the map, the monologue to end all monologues. We dare the Tw*tty Johnson’s nominated to say “I have a penis” with such conviction.
