Tonight I’m throwing my typical Monday night out the window (typical Monday night: watching How I Met Your Mother, 24, and pondering why I still tune into Studio 60) to go catch the #1 movie in America- Norbit. How could anybody resist Norbit? After reading the reviews for the film that pulled in $33 million this weekend, it’s impossible to stay away. Forget the 9% approval rating; just try to pick your favorite Norbit review from Rotten Tomatoes:

A) A film that seems more like an act of revenge against womankind than an extra-broad comedy where the star dresses up in drag.
B) Surely some humanitarian organization will recognize the selflessness with which Murphy has taken three of the movie’s major roles, thus saving two other actors from a nasty black mark on their résumés.
C) Norbit sets a new standard for the worst Hollywood can conceivably produce.
D) Norbit has something to offend everyone… All you need is Isaiah Washington and Michael Richards in the movie spewing homophobic and racial slurs to make it complete.
E) It’s a thoughtless, cancerous, viral, irresponsible pollution whose existence speaks ill of the society that produced it and of any society that would endorse or defend it.
F) Big Momma’s House 2 was better.

So which one makes you want to see the movie? I’m going with D.