To help you though this uncertain post-9/11 time where cartoon marketing schemes can be mistaken for acts of terrorism, we have prepared for you a list of items we reccomend not just leave laying around your city all willy nilly, lest you find YOURSELF involved in the next LiteBriteGate scandal:

Lite Brite – Little kids using tiny pegs to make shapes they think looks like a butterfly (even though it really doesn’t) seems harmless enough, but you stick it under a freeway overpass and you’ve got yourself a death-dealing warhead of fear.

Stuffed Animals – Cute teddy bears might seem like the last place you’d hide a weapon of mass destruction, but if you’re an evil terrorist, they’re the FIRST place you’d hide it.

VCR – There’s the right way to switch your home entertainment center over to DVD (place obsolete VCR into box DVD player came in and clearly mark contents), and there’s the FREEDOM-HATING TERRORIST WAY (just setting it out on the street where it will terrify people).

Poisonous Snakes – Nature’s original terrorists.

Uneaten Burrito from Chipotle – Not sure what it is, but these things just look dangerous to me.

Storage Lockers Full of Videos and Pictures of Yourself Acting Like a Total Whore With a Bunch of LA Douchebag Cokeheads - The catastrophic impact this could have on our society is immeasurable.

The Semi-Automatic Weapons You Can Purchase At Your Local Strip Mall – Put into the wrong context, these could be mistaken for instruments of death.

A DVD Copy of Road House Starring Patrick Swayze – Could send unsuspecting passerbys into deadly fits of catastrophic laughter.

Used Condoms – Not really dangerous, but definitely gross.

Your Babies – We’re looking at you, Britney.

People of Middle Eastern Descent (especially Muslims) – When driving taxis and running convenience stores, people with dark skin do not frighten us. But when they’re just HANGING AROUND ON OUR STREETS, who knows what kinds of wicked homicidal thoughts might be hatching in their heads?