Each and every day leading up to the New Year, BestWeekEver.tv will be posting a series of Top 10 in ‘07 Lists we have ingeniously titled MERRY LISTMAS. Make sure to check in every day over the holiday break for our daily lists!
You’ve no doubt seen the Top 10 Viral Videos of 2007 lists on every other “blog” on the “internet”, featuring the likes of internet celebs Chris Crocker, Tay Zonday’s “Chocolate Rain”, and one small and abused Japanese chipmunk. It’s pretty clear you guys don’t need to see those videos ever, ever again. Which is why we started thinking: What about all those videos that debuted this year that didn’t go viral? What of them?
Which is why we’d like to present the following list, as part of our Merry Listmas Series: The Top 10 Videos That Should Have Gone Viral in ‘07, But Didn’t. Check out all the rere-ness those otehr blogs don’t want you do see.
10. Fat Cat Watching TV. Now, to be fair, this video was only uploaded a couple of weeks ago, meaning it still has time to blossom and become viral in its own right. And frankly, it’s got the makings of a real viral winner… in that it’s a fat cat watching TV. Those of you with fat cats at home might want to train that little chubby effer to crack open a can of bud and yell at his cat wife to stop blocking the television for a true viral sensation. Anyway, at #10, it’s a Fat Cat Watching TV. (And for those of you who haven’t had enough, here’s another fat cat watching TV.)
(Note: It could be argued that this video is currently on its way to being viral, but please understand that I was desperate to post it. Let’s just move on, yes?)
9. Fat Spanish Man Learns to Swim. Similar to the above video, only it’s a fat man, and he’s swimming. The focus, the intensity, the gentle push-off, that mask… it’s all so delicious! In other news, I’ve stapled this Youtube video to my fridge door to remind me not to eat that 18th piece of Pecan Pie tomorrow, and also as a reminder to get my humongous breasts waxed.
8. The Behind the Music parody video made for Miles Rosenthal’s Bar Mitzvah. Believe it or not, the production quality for little Miles Rosenthal’s Bar Mitzvah Video is surprisingly pretty high. (Wait, did we say little — why, he’s a man now!) Looks like Miles’ parents really love him… and also, they probably own a Mac. The video is amazing summed up by this line: “While every cloud has its silver lining, Every Rosenthal has its thorns.” How is this kid not a BWE panelist??
7. “That’s a Big Shoe Horn”. Someone remix this line into a chart-topping Romanian dance mega-sensation, stat!
6. Bruce Lee & Chuck Norris Fighting to Unfitting Music. (NSFW). There’s something so raw, so special, watching Bruce and Chuck duke it out to a song about licking a donkey’s… well… it’s pretty special, and surprisingly viral! Yet, I’m guessing you’ve never seen it, so here’s your chance. (Good luck getting that “Suck My Dog’s D**k” line out of your head, ps.)
5. “What Are You Doing on New Year’s Eve” Cover. We really don’t have any idea who this guy is, and frankly we don’t really want to know. All we’d like to tell him is this: The world already has one Savage Garden. Let’s try to keep it that way.
4. Shirtless Guys Wearing Ties on iVillage Live. The following video is proof that NBC’s iVillage live is actually a secret underground daytime spoof show making fun of all the other morning talk shows. From the opening poll “What Should I Name My Dog” (Zsa Zsa Levine pulled in 26 percent, no lie), to the phony accented passive aggressive banter, to the fashion show that follows it, featuring out-of-work gay porn actors modeling neckties with no shirts on — none of it seems real! The only thing that does seem almost too real is the palpable sexual tension bubbling up in the audience of 40-something bored housewives, who were clearly hosed down in the next commercial break.
Also, it’s shirtless guys in ties! No need to thank me ladies.
3. Crazy Old Woman with Insanely Braided Dread Chunks Has Major Meltdown. I’m not gonna lie to you — I actually hate this video. A lot. It makes me… how do you say… uneasy? And yet, at the same time, I have never in my lifetime quite seen anything like it, which is the true definition of a viral video, is it not? So check out this grandmother (who, sidenote, is clearly being abused by her caretakers) having a panic attack over one of her grandsons getting a girlfriend. You will hate me and/or hate me for it.
2. Elephant Takes a Dump. This video should serve as a reminder for one very important rule of life that you should always keep in mind: Elephants… they take monster dumps. Such as this fellow, for example, who manages to crap out the weight of an entire third-grade class while two unsuspecting passengers simply assume the other one farted.
1. Wayne Gould’s Extreme Su Doku Masterclass Part 1. Ya’ll, this guy is really f*cking good at Su Doku. He teaches a f*cking Su Doku Masterclass. And not just any ol’ Masterclass…. and EXTREME one! Who does this guy think he is… Duff Goldmanon Ace of Cakes? Anyway, we can’t understand how a guy with this much zazz, who looks exactly like Rowan Atkinson, isn’t blowin’ up the tubes right now… which is why we’ve ranked the lovely Wayne Gould as number 1. Merry Christmas Wayne, wherever you may be (likely disappointing your nieces and nephews with more Su Doku books this holiday season).
