After watching this trailer for Paris Hilton’s latest attempt at movie acting, it would seem that all of her other movie roles (most of which you’ve never seen because a) you’re reading this, which means you can read, and b) most went straight-to-the-bottom-of-the-DVD-bargain-bin) were just practice to better prepare herself for her star-making turn in The Hottie and The Nottie, which quite possibly may be – in every way imaginable – the single greatest motion picture ever committed to film. Telling the brave, startlingly original story of a young man whose pursuit of the generically-attractive blonde bimbo of his dreams is being tragically hindered by the presence of her best friend, who (deep breath) is NOT CONSIDERED PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE! I know, I know, what a pickle that is, right!?! How can this poor young man possibly overcome the seemingly insurmountable odds of his crush having a best friend who happens to be cartoonishly unattractive? This Valentine’s Day, I’ll definitely be making room in my heart (AND my schedule) for this epic story of love, loss, and the triumph of the indomitable human spirit. And to all those haters out there who thought Paris was a no-talent famous-for-nothing joke of a human being who would never amount to anything, one gander at the trailer for this future blockbuster should have you feeding at the mistaken words buffet for a very long time…
