- HOT NEW COUPLE?: That random lady from E.R. has managed to snag “The Fifth Beach Boy” John Stamos! She seems like a nice enough lady… but downgrade? (The Dish Rag)
- ARREST: Amy Winehouse was arrested earlier today for “perverting the course of justice.” No word if it has anything to do with that time she showed her snatch to that court reporter for 4 tuppens worth of heroin. (TMZ)
- QUOTE: Fergie stated that “Behind Closed Doors, She’s a Freak.” Note to Fergie: Feel free to eat newborn babies in public, girl! The freak thing is sort of common knowl. (Page Six)
- MULLET SURPRISE: Turns out that be-mulletted lunchlady from Survivor lied about being demoted to a janitor in order to glean $50,000 bones from Mark Burnett. She actually got promoted! Insert Louie Anderson in Coming to America Speech here. (“Now, I’m washing lettuce. Pretty soon I’ll be on fries…”) (EW.com)
- FANTASY: No longer will I have to rely on my imagination to picture Ewan MacGregor prison raping Jim Carrey… it’s soon to be a reality! (Variety)
