When Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon got married back in October, I knew that I’d eventually be writing a story about them getting divorced, so rather than scrambling to write a story now, I’ll just post the story about the Anderson/Solomon divorce that I wrote back when I had some free time this past October:
Hey everyone! Here’s a news story that I am MC Lovin’ – Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon are getting divorced! I know, already??? Sure, their matrimony was looking as unbeatable as the Colorado Rockies right now, but unlike the Rockies, this season didn’t end happily. Maybe she should’ve slept with Good Luck Chuck first!
I guess their relationship wasn’t as hot as the weather is right now, am I right people?? Seriously, is it ever gonna get cold outside? At least the news that Pam is back on the market might brighten up the gossip pages after Amy Winehouse’s death last week… Which lucky single guy is gonna step up and tie the knot with Pam next? Lane Garrison’s still on the market, right? How about someone nice and wholesome, like Andy Pettite? Maybe OJ Simpson?
I’m not sure what’s gonna happen first — Pam gets married five more times, or Britney releases a new album!!! She’s got about as much a chance of a comeback as The Eagles! What’s next, Van Halen reuniting with David Lee Roth? Three more Terminator movies? All new episodes of television suddenly coming to a stop?
If you believe that crap, you’re as dumb as the people who fell for that Radiohead “free album” hoax last week. Vote Romney!
