DR. PHIL CHARACTER OF THE WEEK: The Woman Who Believes Her Dog Is Literally a Human

As much as I’d like to argue that this woman’s dog is a dog and not a human child, she makes a pretty strong case; I mean, it barks, which is just like speaking, and it has clothes put on it sometime, so, well, there you go. Between My-Dog-Is-A-Human Woman, Dick Masterson the Town Misogynist, and Religious Woman Who’s Glad Her Friend’s Baby Was Born Retarded, “Dr. Phil” is turning into a veritable “Ocean’s Eleven” of awesome people I’d love to hang out with.