Oh Project Runway, how very disappointed I am in you. For years I’ve been your biggest fan, for years I hurried home on Wednesday nights so as not to miss even a moment of the queenie drama you’ve never failed to delivery, and until yesterday, it was rare that you did my heart wrong. But last night’s elimination was so obviously a mistake, so obviously based on something more than the design itself, that it needs to be discussed. OPEN FORUM ALERT! Let’s get started.
The challenge last night was to take an old trend that had gone out of style long ago (save for leggings, something I’m proud to admit I own 42 pairs of, which I prefer to wear all at once), and use it as inspiration to create a modern becoming look. They divided the remaining 12 contestants into 4 groups of 3, which is number talk for “Gay Drama”. Without recapping the entire episode, Jillian‘s team won with a collection that can be described as “Denim meets 70′s Prostitution”, Christian‘s team took 2nd with a sort of Spats Inspired look, leaving 2 teams left: The hefty and sweet Chris, whose dress from the first challenge was hands down my favorite, and Ricky, the nice enough man who insists on wearing mesh police caps that bring to mind Mr. Slave from South Park. Jesus Christ! Enough with the hats already.
Let’s take a look at their respective outfits:
On the left, Ricky’s Wonderwoman dress. It’s not clear from this photo, but the fit on this dress was all wrong. And really, would it matter? It’s fug as hell! It’s looks like something a woman promoting a prophylactic brand would wear to a nightclub. Even the model seems humiliated: She has that face that a dog has when its owner puts it in a baby onesie. Let’s also not forget that last week, Ricky was in the bottom two for sending out a men’s suit full of visible pins. Chris’ inspiration was “shoulderpads” (something my mother still insists I should tuck into a dress to minimize my hips and maximize my linebackerness), a trend that’s sort of hard to “modernize”. And sure, his bolero jacket was made from the same curtain the Von Trapp family relied on for playclothes, but the dress underneath was pretty and simple and, most importantly, well-fitting.
So, it came down to these two. And just as I’m writing a farewell note to the see-through mesh cap that has been haunting my dreams since the season started, who should the judges throw off? Chris, that’s who, Chris, who really, really did not deserve to go this week.
Which is why I’d like to be the first professional blogger to openly call SHENNANINGANS on Project Runway, for their completely obvious, barely concealed weight discrimination. They threw Chris off not only for his “only OK” design, but moreso because they would never — NEVER — allow a man who clocks in easy at over 350 pounds to win a fashion contest. And more disturbingly? We’ve got at least one more week with Ricky and his f**king HATS! Does anyone here truly think Chris should have gone home over Ricky? Let me know your thoughts on this.
If only Vincent had been morbidly obese, perhaps last season would have been more bearable.
