We are aware that a lot of “crazy” things are made for babies — Disposable fur-lined diapers, Cashmere baby wipes, etc. — but the following is perhaps the craziest (probably because it is real). High-end shoe designer Christian “Red Soles” Louboutin is creating a pair of custom-made eff me shoes for none other than Suri Cruise! The NY Post reports:

WHEN your dad is Tom Cruise and mom is Katie Holmes, you’re guaranteed the finest footwear, even if you’re still younger than 2 years old. Christian Louboutin has custom-designed a pair of shoes for tiny Suri Cruise, OK! magazine reports. The company had made a mold of the tot’s feet and hand-crafted a pair of bespoke shoes for her. “She’ll be the youngest client,” said a source.

So… Suri Cruise is having a pair of $10,000 one of a kind shoes (rhino horn heels optional) to wear with her ermine Chanel pantsuits… we wonder if The Cruise’s have their own special age, like “Dog Years”. For example, Katie Holmes is 28 in real life, and 45 in “Cruise Years”, which makes Suri, what, like 4 years old? Nope, still not old enough to have Custom Designed French Eff Me Shoes. But good lord, we can’t wait until she’s 18 and sporting grandma cardigans and orthopedic nude colored sneaks!

P.S.: Conspiracy Theory: Perhaps they are strapping Suri into mini-heels in an effort to make running away more difficult?