- SAD NEWS: Brad Pitt has vowed to never do nude scenes, as he doesn’t want his kids to see his “thing.” Throw a couple of keilbasa out of your window to mourn. (People)
- IS THAT YOUR KID, MAAM?: Nicole Kidman’s adopted children refuse to call her “Mom”, opting instead to address her by her first name “Nicole.” Well, it’s better than “Animatronic Sally” or “The Lady Who Can’t Smile.” (Exposay)
- EXCUSE: John Travolta was spotted at a notorious Koreatown gay spa recently. When asked about it, Travolta responded that he just wanted to see if it was possible to go “up someone’s nose with a rubber hose.” (LA Rag Mag)
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: Step right up! Step right up, heah! For only one nickel, one measley sixpence, you may lay your eyes upon our latest acquisition: Natalie Portman, the Girl with Perfect Bone Structure! You can find her inbetween Seamus the Boy with Haggishands and Irene, the One Legged Chinese Girl! (Egotastic)
- STALKER ALERT: Javier Bardem is in NYC! And it looks like he’s wearing one of the “dressed up” outfits from National Lampoon’s European Vacation! (Popsugar)
