As we mentioned yesterday, an unresolved contract dispute between Emeril Lagasse and The Food Network means that “Emeril Live” will be taken off the air — a severe blow to everyone who just moved into an apartment and can’t afford cable but still gets The Food Network for some reason.

The true impact of this event, however, is immesurable, and leads me to this question: Has any network in history had to fill a bigger programming void than The Food Network without Emeril??

Every time you click to The Food Network, either “Emeril Live” is on, or the program you’re watching quickly wraps up and “Emeril Live” comes on next. Emeril also sometimes arbitrarily interrupts shows in the middle, occassionally runs for seven hours straight for no reason, and sometimes even makes your television physically change from whatever other channel you’re watching to The Food Network just in time to catch that unmistakable fusiony-ass jazz intro.

The only situation I can think of that even remotely approximates The Food Network losing “Emeril Live” is when Comedy Central suddenly stopped airing “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” a reliable filler of 4-8 hours of daily programming, leaving a void which was partially filled by “SNL” reruns (including the Heather Locklear one four times a week) which was later supplanted by “Mad TV” reruns and an increasing gunshyness every time I chose to click to Comedy Central during the daytime.

That being said, there is one win-win option that would very easily solve this problem: The Food Network needs to air “Mystery Science Theater” in place of Emeril. If anyone can name one negative thing that would be caused by this happening, I will graciously stand corrected. And yes, Alton Brown can even talk about the molecular makeup of root vegetables during the commercials.