You are totally gonna believe what Britney did this weekend. You may think you’re ready for this, and you are definitely correct. Are you sitting down? Or standing up? It doesn’t really matter.

Ok, here goes. Britney Spears ran a Stop sign.

Riding in her white Mercedes SL65 with her producer pal Sam Lutfi, the singer was on her way home from the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills when she zoomed through two signs. As she approached a third stop sign, she slowed but didn’t stop.

Tell Us: Should Britney be allowed on the road?

This begs the question — and I say this not as a joke or as a satirical jab at the gossip press — is there any infraction so small that if Britney did it, it wouldn’t be news?

I realize that she may have “zoomed” through those intersections (”zoomed” being the vehicular equivalent of the gossip verb “canoodling”), and Us at least calls her a “singer” and not a “pop tard” or whatever, but as far as law-breaking goes, is there really anything more minor or forgivable than marginally rolling through a Stop sign?

I’m trying to think of a joke example of a super minor infraction that wouldn’t be news if Britney did it, but I literally can’t. Throwing a plastic bottle in the regular garbage instead of a recycle bin? Nope, TMZ would just run the headline “Soda-Pop Tard”. How about getting more than two free ice cream samples before finally deciding on a flavor? Nah, “It’s Scoop-Free, Bitch”.

If Britney pulled the tag off a pillow, it maybe, MAYBE wouldn’t be news, as long as there were no photos or eyewitness accounts and Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton murdered Angelina Jolie in public that afternoon. As long as she didn’t canoodle with that pillow, of course.