- In the time it took you to watch roughly two and a half episodes of The Golden Girls last night, Lindsay Lohan checked in and out of jail to “serve time” for her DUI arrest over the summer. And somewhere, Paris Hilton has grown a million middle fingers and is shooting them up at the sky.
- Things are heating up between the two hottest ladies of Hollywood, as Fabio has declared that George Clooney “has no class.” Could these two just find a boiler room to make out in already?
- Kim Kardashian claims that it is her mother who pushed her to do her Playboy spread, in an effort to show America what “real bodies” look like. Well, real bodies with gigantic silicon ass implants, at least. Also, Kim’s Mom is a total MILTSASWTF? (Or “Mothers I’d Like to Slap And Say ‘What The F**k?’”)
- And now, the WASPiest Celebrity Sighting in History: “JULIANNE Moore lifting up her shirt and showing her freckle-free belly during a reading of her book, “Freckle face Strawberry,” at J Crew’s new Crewcuts children’s store on Prince Street, when asked if she “had freckles all over her body.” Moore replied, “Everywhere but here.”
- Finally, Katherine McPhee is finally engaged to Dilfy J. Fox.
