- …AND BREAKFAST: Lindsay Lohan checked herself into jail this morning at 10:30, then checked out 84 minutes later. Guess she really just wanted to see the prison’s exclusive showing of “Men In Black II”. (TMZ)
- HEAD-SHRINKER: Barry Bonds has been indicted by a federal jury for perjury and obstruction of justice after claiming under oath that he never used performance-enhancing drugs. We’ll soon find out of the “Billy Joel’s head has doubled in size, does that mean he did steroids?” argument holds up in federal court. (ESPN)
- UNSTOPPABLE MARCH: NBC has announced that the ongoing Writer’s strike will not impact the annual Macy’s Thankgsiving Day Parade. They also clarified that the strike will not impact local weather forecasts, Thanksgiving Day football, lunar eclipses, or Granny Smith apples.(NY Daily News)
- ANTIHERO: Hayden Panitierre says that there’s a warrant out for her arrest after she attempted to interfere with a dolphin hunt in Japan last week. Turns out, the phrase “she who saves dolphins” somehow translates into the Japanese word for “serial arsonist”. (Us Weekly)
- UNDERSTUDY TIME: Wayne Newton remains unable to perform because of a heart condition, but claims he’ll be “just fine”. Performing in his stead in Vegas right now is comedian Danny Ganz doing an impression of Wayne Newton. (People)
