Last week, I did probably the most insanely mature thing I’ve ever done in my life, after raising a sick otter back to health and taking a tea with Helen Mirren: I attended the opera alone. (gulp) Twice. The reasoning behind this being that my friends weren’t too eager to drop 100 literal bones each on an event that didn’t promise hordes of hipsters with Lou Albano braid beards trying to out B.O. one another. I was lucky enough to catch Madame Butterfly on Monday, which was heart-stopping and beautiful, and then Lucia di Lammermoor on Wednesday, which was, well, opera. Lucia features one of the most beautifully written sextets of all time — well, after that time Bobby Brown joined the Backstreet Boys for a killer version of “I Want It That Way” at an Orlando Hard Rock.

I tell you these things to explain why I found the following clip, while scouring Youtube for said sextet “Chi Mi Frena.” It’s from the 1951 film The Great Caruso, about the life of opera singer Enrico Caruso. For the first minute or so, it’s a fairly pleasant rendition of the song, featuring an actor who looks like Dave Navarro and a Gay Pirate had a child together. It’s clear that something crucial is on his mind… but what? What could it be? What could those sideglances off-stage signify?

Perhaps, dare I say, The Cheesiest Moment in Cinematic History? Move over, “You had me at hello”, these guys may just have you beat! Please make sure to pay attention to the man standing in the back wearing a bow-tie. He’s probably dead now, but what an actor.

For the record, going to the opera alone makes great fodder for conversation with your 800 cats once you get home. The end!