It’s been a long while since I’ve been able to sit down in a movie theater, sink into my chair as the lights dim, and then proceed to laugh my ass off for an (ungodly) 131 minutes… which is why I would personally like to thank director and Chinese-water-torture enthusiast Julie Taymor for giving us just that with her Beatles movie musical Across the Universe, the funniest movie of 2007. The movie is a love story between one Liverpoolian “bloke” named Jude (a Paul McCartney lookalike, natch) who heads off to America to find his father, a window washer at Princeton University. Once there, he coincidentally meets a cast of characters named after famous Beatles songs! Including his best friend Max (who, surprisingly, did not have a silver hammer welded to his hand), his landlord Sadie, a small Asian lesbian named Prudence, a Jimi Hendrix clone named JoJo, and various other folks including, but not limited to, Mr. Kite (played by Eddie Izzard.)
The movie is a LOLocaust from start to finish. The very first scene is our protagonist, played honestly and quite well by the adorable Jim Sturgess, sitting on a beach. Slowly he turns to look at the camera, stares at us in our seats, and begins wailing “Is there anybody going to listen to my story, all about the girl who came to stay?” Sure, I knew this was a Beatles musical from the get go, but REALLY? THAT is how you’re starting a Beatles musical movie? Holy ess. (You can see the beginning of the film here.)
Now, you know how I feel about people disturbing others in movie theaters, but I could not help myself from letting a slow but extremely loud trail of urine flow out of me. Things only get worse from there (or better, depending on how you look at it). He falls for his best friend’s sister, a girl named Lucy, played earnestly enough by Evan Rachel Wood, aka “Manson’s Muse”. Frankly, if I were to have titled this movie the literal definition of what I was watching, it would have been Earnest Goes to Camp. Because they were earnest in the campiest of ways (get it!?!).
The truth is, when I first heard they were making a Beatles movie musical, I was pretty excited — I love the Beatles! Who doesn’t love the Beatles? Communists and child molesters, that’s who! But this movie was a slap to the face! They took the lyrics to every song so literally that the film starts to almost get self-conscious. Like, did the Prudence character really need to hide in a closet, or did they just write that in so the characters could beg “Dear Prudence, won’t you come out and play?” And during one of my favorite Beatles numbers, “She’s So Heavy”, did Max, about to be sent to Vietnam, really have to carry a huge replica of the Statue of Liberty?!? As a drama, I was appalled… but as a comedy, I was fully satisfied! I half expected the main character to kill himself during “Happiness is a Warm Gun.” Sadly, he didn’t (that would have shaved a solid 20 minutes off the run time).
And what about the cameos!? Joe Cocker plays a pimp/hippie character whose goatee is painted on using the same technology used by Groucho Marx no less than 355 years ago. For me, Cocker was the highlight of the film. And Taymor’s representation of New York in the 60s looked like the backdrop to a movie about psychedelic carnies made by a freshman in college. (Seriously, they eat at a Psychedelicatessen! OK, that’snotbad…) I’m not saying Julie Taymor isn’t a genius in certain respects — she’s probably the best puppeteer in all the land, and has a distinct “vision” — but she is the kind of selfish director who insists on putting “her touch” into many scenes at the expense of the film. Puppets, bad costuming, masks, Japanese ladies jumping into an ocean… it wouldn’t have bothered me so much if the topic wasn’t as serious as Vietnam Vets and, strangely, the Detroit Riots (which come in handy for 2 minutes during a short “Let It Be” segment.)
After the jump, our final thoughts, as well as our secret way of saving you $10!
The singing is actually decent, if not completely manipulated by computers in post-production (think Rosario Dawson in Rent, Cher in “Believe”, or “One More Time” by Daft Punk.) The real break-out star for me was the Jimi Hendrix character played by Martin Luther McCoy, who was a pleasure to watch and listen to.
In conclusion, Across the Universe is the perfect film to see if you are 1.High; 2. In Jail; 3. Stuck on a Desert Island; 4. Dead; or 5. In Need for Some Good Laughs. How this movie was even approved by The Beatles estate to begin with is baffling. All this being said: I did download the Deluxe Edition Soundtrack off of Itunes. Because I have no willpower and am clearly menty-handskies.
And because I always feel guilty if I don’t say something nice: Parts of the movie were very beautiful. The end.
Now, I’d like to save you 10 sweet dollars by posting the two trailers for the film, which are edited in such a way to actually be enjoyable! Please note: The movies are nothing like the trailers. That Jim Sturgess though… so cute! (I’d also like to add that my alternate title for this post was going to be “Across the P.U.-niverse!” Don’t thank me.)
