We are overwhelmed with the amount of things that are so, so wrong with this picture taken of Britney Spears, and feel it is our duty to list them out one by one. (Deep breath) Here goes:
1. There’s something to be said about mixing patterns; there’s a whole other thing to be screamed about combining various silk-screened prints of gold chains.
2. Especially when worn with mardi gras beads.
3. It appears as if she is clutching make-up bags given away by Clinique.
4. She is smoking mentholated cigarettes.
5. And drinking Red Bull.
6. She is starting to develop Howdy Doody mouth lines.
7. Her pants are too big.
8. They are also red and made of velour.
9. Her assistant has Luke Perry jean-holes.
10. And, we are guessing, killer cameltoe.
But the worst, the WORST, thing about this photo?
She is feeding her chihuahua Red Bull. While it attempts to escape from his doggie sweater. OK, so not really, but the proximity of the can hole to the dog’s face taken together with his panicked expression led us to only one concloozh.
Can we please, please, get her children/dog away from her death clutch, please?
Also, feel free to let us know if we missed anything in the above picture. Honestly, we were hypnotized by little doggie feet.
