It is by now common knowledge that Tom Cruise is man in charge of leading Scientology and its minions into the new Hollywood millennium. An ambassador to all things crazy, Cruise has done a fantastic job of roping in new A-list celebs onto his alien train, including, most recently, Jennifer Lopez. We’re sure the consistent ass-kissing of his fellow bi-polar underlings is motivation enough, but an article in today’s Sun makes is wonder if perchance, they’ve gone a scad too far. So what’s all the L. Ron Hub-bub?

See, they’re saying that Tom Cruise is Scientology’s version of Christ. Jesus, did they really? Yes, Christ, they did:

The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world. And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. “Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

And it’s funny, because last I checked, Jesus didn’t really look like Phoebe Cates‘ twin sister. And while he would’ve been a kick-ass action star, we really don’t think he’d come down so hard on medication. I mean, we Jesus even allergic to vadges? We doubt it.

So what’s the lesson? The lesson is that if you’re rich enough, handsome enough, dyslexic and/or ess-eating crazy enough, you, too, can be Jesus. Christians, take it away.