Ah-Guh. We would love to meet the maniacal wax-worker at Madame Tussauds Las Vegas responsible for hand-crafting the following wax figure of Ryan Seacrest, so that we could grab his hand in ours, a rubber mallet in the other, and mangle the ever-living God out of it Casino-style. Because the hands responsible for creating the following wax dummy of Ryan Seacrest must be stopped:

Though the added detail of the fake tan is a nice touch. And even in wax, Simon Cowell and Ryan’s sexual tension is palpable.