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28 August
Tuesday

Cambridge Mathematicians Stare At Pictures of Jessica Alba’s Ass, Conclude She Is Sexy

Jessica AlbaAccording to a story on Telegraph.co.uk, a team of Cambridge-based mathematicians conducted a study to determine which famous hottie had the sexiest womanly sway, mathematically speaking, and concluded that asstress Jessica Alba (like my TMZ impression?) sashays away with the title:

The academics found that it is the ratio between hips and waist that puts the sway into a woman’s walk – and the nearer that ratio is to 0.7, the better.

The Jessica Alba sashay beat off competition from Kate Moss, Angelina Jolie and even Marilyn Monroe, whose walk along a railway platform in Some Like It Hot is one of the most famous in film history.

While Monroe was a fraction off the target ratio with 0.69, the Cambridge team said that Alba had the perfect proportions.

Granted, this comes from a brief writeup online and not a scientific journal, but doesn’t there seem to be a really glaring, kind of skeevy lack of detail in this story? As in, perhaps, the same gaping lack of detail that a report from scientists who spent two months staring at pictures of hot actresses and didn’t actually do any research or conclude anything might also contain?

How did they come up with the number “0.7″? It can’t be from the golden ratio, right, it’s only one frickin’ decimal place? And by what mathematical means is it “better?” And how did they acquire the exact measurements of every one of these actresses? Was this report funded?

Mathematically speaking, was this a complete waste of everyone’s time? Or was it a mathematically brilliant prank on the University that employs and pays these individuals? Come to think of it, I might have to look into this entire situation some more…

(link, pic via wwtdd)

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