Yesterday, a Master of Journalism going by the name of Stu Bykofsky published, in the form of an editorial in the Philadelphia Daily News, an epic masterpiece of great ideas entitled, “To save America, we need another 9/11″. YES, Stu! You’re absolutely right! If there’s anything that will save this country from Iraq and general apathy and all the other assorted evils and horrors you so vaguely generalize in your gloriously half-baked little exercise in sensational rhetoric, it is the loss of another few thousand innocent human lives and the political chaos and misplaced violence that would ensue! But enough from me. Let this future Pulitzer-winner tell you himself:
America’s fabric is pulling apart like a cheap sweater.What would sew us back together?
Another 9/11 attack.
The Golden Gate Bridge. Mount Rushmore. Chicago’s Wrigley Field. The Philadelphia subway system. The U.S. is a target-rich environment for al Qaeda.
Not only is Stu (which can only be short for Stupid) capable of reducing the countless political complexities of our time down to a cheap metaphor right out of a 1st-year J-school student’s bad editorial for the school paper, he actually suggests a few places for this America-saving terrorist attack to take place! Now THAT is what I call hard-hitting journalism! And by hard-hitting, I mean I think he actually managed to turn stupid into a solid thing, boil it down into little crack rocks, hit it hard, and overdose himself to the point of brain damage. Either way, I think we’ve finally found the one man who is capable of doing a better job leading America than our current president.
