Of all the shlocky tabloids we are forced to read day in, day out, by far our guiltiest pleasure are the British Tabloids, whose headlines outpun the NY Post‘s nearly 3 to 1. And while, in general, we are fairly trusting readers (“Freddy Prinze Jr. has the clap? Poor guy…”), this is just one item we have to take issue with. According to The Sun UK, Brooke Hogan is… “one of the hottest up-and-comers in the U.S.”
Excuse us for a second. (Note, it might help if you watch the following video on mute…)
Ah, yes, where were we… Brooke Hogan! OK, England, here’s the thing: We love Brooke Hogan, because she’s the only daughter of a wrestler partially aborted enough to go on stage in front of thousands of people in denim anti-shorts, but “up-and-comer”? Let’s not get too hasty. As long as she continues dressing like a slutty street urchin, yes, sadly we will still be paying attention to her. And as long as Hogan Knows Best continues being undeniably entertaining, we will have no choice but to blog about her. But don’t be fooled: Brooke Hogan isn’t up and going anywhere until she recognizes the fact that she looks like a meth-addicted Ringling Brothers clown. But until the circus stops drug testing, we’re stuck with her.
On second thought… maybe this British tab love is exactly what we need to get Brooke out of our hair. Send her to England! She’s undeniably more attractive than at least 90 percent of British women, and the Brits love porny oompa-loompah’s (See Posh Spice). Have we finally found a solution to the “Brooke Hogan Problem”? Only time and assless jeans will tell.
