- I still cannot believe that a zebra/horse hybrid called a “zorse” is real. Either way, I’m gonna draw a picture of it, say “It’s pretty much my favorite animal” in a deadpan voice, and have people quote me incessantly for the next eighteen months.
- Jennifer Love Hewitt had to wait in line with fans to get Paul McCartney’s autograph at his secret concert last night, while Kenny G was given VIP access. Just part of the bouncers’ inverse boobs-to-soprano sax criteria for determining fame.
- Turns out, thousands of toothpaste tubes being used in U.S. prisons were contaminated by the manufacturer. If you spread that toothpaste on the bars and it makes them dissolve, I’d blame Richie Rich.
- A Wisconsin man is facing several criminal charges after pulling a tropical fish out of a tank and stomping it to death during an argument with his girlfriend. Police are not ruling out, however, that he stomped the fish to death by accident.
- The American Bald Eagle was triumphantly taken off the endangered species list, with more than 10,000 breeding pairs now in existence compared to 417 in 1967. The American trout population, however, is at a mysterious all-time low.
