- Courtney Love would absolutely never allow images of her deceased husband Kurt Cobain to start popping up on random advertisements… oh, I’m sorry… did you say children’s Thermos? Oh, no, that would be absolutely OK! You know what would be a great touch — if when the lunchbox is opened, the song “Rape Me” could start playing. Can that be arranged? It can? Great! xoxo Courtney Love
- Cameron Diaz apologized to the nation of Peru this weekend after she was spotted wearing a purse bearing a communist slogan in Machu Picchu. The entire nation of Peru responded with a “Seriously, don’t worry about it!” while sporting a handsome “Jessica Biel is Better Than You” hoodie.
- Hmm… for some reasong Bunion Spice doesn’t have the same ring to it. Nor does “Eagle-Taloned Beckham”.
- As if being in jail for a few weeks wasn’t nearly enough, now Paris Hilton will have to endure an hour of Larry King‘s gutteral farts when she appears on his show Wednesday night.
- Finally, those interested in purchasing the new miracle diet drug “alli” might want to take a moment from bleaching the oil stains out of your pants to read this in-depth and humorous analysis of the drug’s side effects. Note: Try not to be, you know, eating, as you read it.
