Welcome to a new feature here at BestWeekEver.tv, called “Life’s Greatest Ironies.” In today’s segment, we take a look at the long, bumpy career of Eddie Murphy, a man we’ve grown to love as an actor, comedian, tranny diddler, baby daddy, and voiceover artist. A man we’ve grown to love for everything… except a serious music career. While Eddie happens to have a more than passable singing voice — in fact, it’s quite good — the only way America has come to accept “Eddie Murphy — Singer” is behind the face and name of one of the many characters he plays on the big screen. “Eddie Murphy, the Singer” has had little to humiliatingly no success here in America (Note: We’re fairly sure he was a hit in Japan, but let’s face it, who isn’t?) Let’s take a closer look at Eddie Murphy, Failed Serious Singer vs. Successful Fake One.
Eddie Murphy kicked off his singing career in the 1980′s, with a little ditty you might remember while partying all the time, called “Party All The Time” The song was produced by none other than Rick James (bitch!), who also appears in the video looking like the neighbor on 227 who was married to Predator. Watch the music video, and absorb just how serious, how confident, how altogether psyched Murphy is as he snaps and ooh-yeahs his way to singing one of the worst songs out of the 1985:
Gone is the Eddie Murphy the country knew and loved from Beverly Hills Cop, the man we as a country learned to trust, and in his place stands a man devoid of humor, and full of his own self.
The song was a modest hit, nowhere near the sort of success he saw on screen. And not just acting success, but singing on screen as well. A little band you might remember by the all-too-sultry name of… Sexual Chocolate, from the classic comedy Coming to America in 1988:
Keep reading on for a longer, in-depth analysis of Eddie Murphy’s Singing Career!
See — the voice is still there! Eddie is still “Partying All The Time”, only this time under the guise of a blue tuxedo and geri curl wig. Strangely, this clip still lives large in pop culture reference manuals — Sexual Chocolate has, unsurprisingly, become akin to hours-long love making sessions (at least in our circles). Where as you’d be hard pressed to find a soiree that includes “Party All the Time” on their Itunes Party Shuffle. In fact, the only place one can really listen to that single openly is while watching a “Worst Songs of All-Time” marathon.
But Eddie still wasn’t done testing the public’s patience regarding his music career. In 1989, he released the kind of classic slow-jam only the deaf can really appreciate called “Put Your Mouth On Me” (no relation to Akinyele‘s “Put It In Your Mouth”, we don’t think.) Check it out and see if you can tell the difference between Eddie’s face and the monster camel-toes seen on the mom jeans in the background:
We applaud his attempt at branding himself into the black Robert Palmer, but damn. You are Eddie Murphy, for God’s sake! You do not need to be writing oral sex odes begging women to, well, you know (insert song title here)… they’re more likely to do it for you without hearing the song.
Which brings us to Shrek (doesn’t it always?), the smash movie series about a lovable ogre and his hilarious Donkey with a penchant for singing, voiced by Murphy. Subtract the thinly veiled pornographic lyrics and cocky smile, add some Industrial Light and Magic and a hilarious donkey face, and strangely, Murphy’s singing soars to new, fantastic heights. Not only is it tolerable, it’s arguably the best thing about the multi-billion dollar franchise. (His humming of “On The Road Again” might count as our favorite scene from any of the films.)
If you like your pudding full of proof, enjoy this clip of Donkey (i.e. Murphy minus the tood) somehow making Ricky Martin entertaining again:
Singing Donkey = Hit!
But wait… you’re not getting off that easy. Of course we save the worst for last. Because by far the best example of Eddie’s failures in the music business are evidenced in the “So Bad It’s F**king Genius” track from 1992, titled “Whatzupwitu.” The song was released during a major slump in Eddie’s movie career, known in the business as “The Boomerang Years“, and is extra-special not only because of its amazing green screeniness, including floating peace signs, sunflowers and music notes, but more importantly MICHAEL JACKSON. FLOATING. IN CLOUDS. Worst music video of all time or Best Fever Nightmare Ever? You decide:
Amazing, no? This video has been famously ranked as one of the worst ever made, and yet it shows within Eddie the extreme and haunting desperation of a man who just wants to make it in the music biz… It’s a shame no one ever wrote a response track entitled “NothingMuchbutPlzStopSinginTHX!”
The very same desperation, one might argue, is seen in Dreamgirls‘ Jimmy “Thunder” Early, Eddie’s latest on-screen singing character, which earned him a Best Supporting Actor nod (sadly, not a win) and loads of critics’ praise. He was born to play Jimmy, a soulful singing sensation with an insatiable lust for women and drugs, attention and fame, and the sort of cockiness that Murphy knows all too well. After the luminous Hudson, his performance was the hands down highlight of the film — and most of it was sung! Here is Eddie’s Dreamgirls singing debut, titled “Fake Your Way to the Top”:
Our conclusion? American loves Eddie Murphy — sh*t, we’ll even put up with Norbit – but as a country, we have no patience for a man stretching himself too far. Stick with singing on-screen Eddie, where we can separate the man from the voice, and we will continue to drop hours of our minimum wage salaries on two hours of your slightly nasal but winning voice. Just please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t release anymore “for real” albums. Though we wouldn’t say no to another cheesy music video.
