Do you know a young girl who’s in need of guidance? Thankfully, a new expert has arrived to fill their need: Elizabeth Berkley!
That’s right the star of Saved By the Bell, but more importantly, Showgirls, has created a website dedicated to helping young girls through their formative years. It’s called Ask-Elizabeth.com. As Elizabeth explains on the too-cute site:
I wanted to create a safe place for you to feel heard, to feel seen and to get the help you need to be and feel your best. You are not alone… We are in this life together! There are moments in life when we feel like we’re losing our way and Ask Elizabeth is here to help you remember!
That’s right girls, Elizabeth wants you to “feel seen.” Good luck with that. Unfortunately, the part of the site that actually answers questions isn’t functional yet. But there’s plenty of Elizabeth’s wisdom already floating around. In quote form. From Showgirls. What would happen if you answered little girl’s questions with Elizabeth’s lines from the film? Let’s find out.
Q: Dear Elizabeth, my boyfriend is constantly pressuring me to have sex, but I don’t feel comfortable with it yet. When he asks for sex, what should I say to him?
A: You can f**k me when you love me.
Q: Dear Elizabeth, I’m the first girl in my class to go through puberty, and I’m very self-concious about my breasts. They’re big and I feel like everyone is always staring at them. Do you understand how I’m feeling? I wish my breasts would just disappear!
A: I like having nice tits.
Q: Dear Elizabeth, I was feeling really down about myself, but then last week I visited Los Angeles and ran into you on the street. I’ve long been very self-concious about my appearance, but you said I looked beautiful. You said someday I could be a model. Are you lying?
A: I’m not. I liked it when you came. I liked your eyes.
Q: Dear Elizabeth, since I was a young girl my uncle has touched me in inaproppriate places. For years I refused to tell anyone about what he did because I was so ashamed. But now I’ve realized that I have nothing to be ashamed of, and I need help figuring out how to take action against this man. Whenever I think of what he’s done to me, I get so pissed off it just makes me want to scream and scream and scream. What should I do?
A: You shouldn’t get pissed off. It makes you look older.
There you have it kids! Parents, send your children over to the site as soon as possible…
