Rifle through your neighbors’ mailboxes until you stumble across the new issue of Vanity Fair with Bruce Willis pretending not to be old on the cover. The magazine takes a romantic boat ride with Willis, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, and the picture that comes back is priceless. “Nope, nothing awkward here. I’m just Bruce Willis, sitting here fishing while my ex-wife snuggles a guy half my age and he rests his hand on her ass. Why would I mind a national magazine coming along to document that? I’m totally comfortable with it. I mean, I’d totally look at them and stuff, but I’m just way too busy with this fishing pole. And I’m sure they’re really interested in talking to me right now too. But you know, I’m busy fishing. Otherwise the three of us would be interacting right now, and it wouldn’t be just them lost in each others eyes and me sitting here praying to sweet God in heaven that they’d just knock it the f**k off already… I mean fishing.”
And can we take a moment to analyze the symbolism of this shot: Ashton and Demi snuggling while old man Willis sits isolated, tugging in frustration on his erect pole. Come on now. It doesn’t get any better…
