- Our morning’s are set to become a little quieter, as rumor has it Rosie O’Donnell will announce today that she is leaving The View.
- How has no one pointed out that Scary Spice‘s hotly contested child with Eddie Murphy is named Angel Iris Murphy Brown? She’ll probably be really funny as a toddler and jump the shark at around age 6.
- In the sleaziest news of the day, Joe Simpson is looking to take Britney Spears under his wing to nurture the girl and help her grow, which is his way of saying he totally would have hit that when she was 12.
- When Anderson Cooper hits the gym, he prefers to shower in boxer briefs to avoid any unwanted camera phone pics of his package. Further proof that his genitalia looks like a magical platinum and emerald-studded unicorn horn, so beautiful it blinds anyone who dare lay eyes on it.
- Scientists have discovered a habitable planet a stone’s throw of light years away, finally answering the as-yet unanswered query “What the f**k should we do with Paris Hilton?”
