If you’re like us, you were fans of the Bravo reality series The Real Housewives of the O.C., aka The Elderly Hills. We can’t explain our fascination with this group of mostly empty, mostly despicable women, but what began as a way to feel better about our own poor, eating-out-of-the-Alpo-can lives turned into a genuine affection for some of the characters. Last night’s reunion episode only solidified those feelings – there’s Laurie, the bad Mother with the face like Eric Stoltz in The Mask who is marrying out of her league! Hi Laurie! Oh look – Tammy, the new housewife… we love Tammy! Hi Tammy and your sparkling pants. And what about Jeana, the ex-Playboy model with three children, one which we like, one which we tolerate, and one with awful chapped lips who thinks he owns the world and who we can’t stomach? Hi Jeana!
But no amount of affection for the show would bring us to give a brief wave to our least favorite of the Housewives, Jo, who thankfully sported an ever-so-unflattering frosted blonde hair coloring last night that made her look like number 4 best prostitute in Kazakhstan. Spoiled, cocky, dumb and completely average in every single way. Here’s to hoping they have a reunion in 20 years so we can see just how her looks and music career have panned out (cut to me watching said reunion in 2027 with a plate of meatloaf resting on my triple-J rack while my thighs fuse to my couch… anywho!)
For those curious to hear Jo’s new “hit” single “Falling”, Bravo TV kindly offers up not only the original version, but also the Club Reeeeemixxxx! It sounds pretty good… for a digital robot that doesn’t even exist. Very Cher‘s “Believe”, if you read me. And with two Cher references in a single post, our work here is done.
With no more Housewives, we’re at a loss for vicariously driven television. Any suggestions? Also, was I alone in my love of this show, cause I’m kinda getting that vibe…
