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8 March
Thursday

Life Is Like Grossing An Additional $329,691,196 At The Box Office

forrest.jpgWhen a movie makes a gajillion dollars at the box office and wins a ton of Academy Awards, you know there has to be a sequel (unless your ship sinks and your main character dies; nice work, Cameron). So it really shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that this week, 13 years after Forrest Gump destroyed the universe (and invented AIDS, I think), there are rumors that Forrest Gump II is on its way.

“Gump & Co” takes place several years after “Forrest Gump” and finds Forrest’s shrimping business failed and Jenny dead, leaving Forrest a single unemployed father. As you’d expect, Gump still stumbles through more important historical events. In this case it’s a cavalcade of history from the 80s and 90s. He even meets Tom Hanks.

I never read the book, so I have no clue what hilarious adventures Gump will be a part of this time. Is he behind the Challenger explosion? Or how about the fall of the Berlin wall? Or grunge music- did Forrest Gump lend Kurt Cobain a flannel because he was cold one day and inadvertantly influence the entire Seattle music scene in 1992? Ooh- maybe Forrest spilled a drink on Osama bin Laden and was the real reason for 9/11! This sequel should be great. I just hope he updates his famous catchphrase to something that better reflects the “Me” decade.

Life is like a vial of crack/cocaine- you never know what– or how much– you’re gonna get.

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