- David Beckham asked buddy Tom Cruise for advice before signing with the L.A. Galaxy. Tom reportedly pushed him to take the money, move to Los Angeles, and stop wearing those bothersome shirts in public all the damn time.
- Newsweek obtained a chapter from O.J. Simpson’s “fictional” book If I Did It that describes how he *might* have killed his ex-wife if he was the murderer. The pages were mailed to them in an anonymous envelope labeled “If I Wanted To Drum Up Publicity For My Book/Confession, Here’s How I’d Leak A Few Pages.”
- Kelly Osbourne says being Ozzy’s daughter ruined her pop career Because her average looks and subpar voice would’ve taken her so much further if her daddy wasn’t a famous musician. Naturally.
- Britney Spears and her new boyfriend reportedly spent the night together in the $40,000/night Hugh Hefner suite at the Palms in Vegas. Coincidentally, K-Fed spent the night passed out with a Playboy magazine open across his face on his friend’s couch in Fresno.
- Jimmy Fallon says he’s done performing good deeds after a recent act of heroism went unappreciated. America now desperately waits for Jimmy to announce he’s done performing, period, after his recent act of awfulness went unappreciated in Taxi.
